Thursday, February 28, 2013

December 1, 1990


This is the picture that I had uploaded for last week, the February Friday loVe theme as inspired by Amber.
Only today is Thursday. Of another week.
It's almost March and we are now Fridayless in February of this year.
Because I am good at stating the obvious, I'll say that I'm running behind. :)

December 1, 1990 looked like this...

I'm startled when I do the math with this photo and date.

I still think that the 1990's are about ten years ago. :)
I remember hearing a thousand words spoken when I first looked at this picture a couple of decades back.
And... it still speaks.
Right now it's screaming that we were but children! ;) ha.
The abundance of words became paragraphs. months.
Paragraphs became chapters. years. And now there are volumes.
Filled with more breathtaking good and more way beyond hard
than I ever dreamed that girl and that boy were saying "I do!" to. 

And the words of a song that friends sang during our wedding service
echo through it all...

sometimes we knew it in the moment. sometimes totally not.
thankfully... truth is not dependent on our perception.
but rather clarity for our perception is dependent on truth.

Oh Lord, You Have Been Good
You Have Been Faithful to All Generations
Oh Lord, Your Steadfast Love
And Tender Mercy Have Been Our Salvation

For By Your Hand We Have Been Fed
And By Your Spirit We Have Been Led
Oh Lord

For By Your Hand We Have Been Fed
And By Your Spirit We Have Been Led
Oh Lord, Almighty God
Father Unchanging, Upright and Holy
Oh Lord, You Have Been Good

You Have Been Good
You Have Been Faithful, You Have Been Good

"God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him...
He gave me a fresh start. Now I’m alert to God’s ways; I don’t take God for granted.

Every day I review the ways He works.
God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
Psalm 18:20-24 The Message

Oh Lord, You Have Been Good
With all that is now extremely outdated about our wedding...
some of the other songs that were a part of it too, here and here.
will never be.
at least in our heads.

What song is especially meaningful to you right now?

Friday, February 15, 2013

[friday loVe ~ HIS voice]

I cried in TJMax a few weeks ago.

As much as I love that store... and as emotional as I might get over an exciting bargain, :)
it wasn't about the place or a price.

It was over something that never ceases to amaze and surprise me.

And it's one of those "never ceases to amaze and surprise me" things that I hope stays just that way.
Always amazing and surprising. Despite the frequency.
Leaving me with widened eyes, allbeit perhaps at times... tearful ones.
Like a little girl on Christmas. With a treat. When it is truly better than she dreamed it would be.
And she sparkles with indescribable pleasure.

Like THAT. everytime.

Dear friends of ours had invited us over for the evening.
It was the one year anniversary of their daughter's death.

As with alot of things that life brings...
each story and person unique,
there's not a magic-one-size-fits-all-formula with details on what exactly to do... or not,
on the anniversary of something like that.
For them as grieving parents... for those of us as friends. 

I had been wishing all week prior, that I could think of something meaningful to share with them.
A little remembrance. a significant token. a something.
The kind of something that I never find when I'm looking for it.
It doesn't work that way for me. I find special presents when I don't need them.

So I found myself driving into town at the last minute, to get a pink and white balloon bouquet.
Balloons were not the answer to my mental search for ideas. They weren't the something.
But they were a something, and the kids could have fun with them.

On my way to the party store, I made what then felt like an impulsive decision to stop by TJMax.
Maybe. Just maybe. I would find that... something.
I went to the back of the store and started walking past the aisle ends, glancing down each one.
dishes. kitchen tools. pet paraphernalia. gifty stationery things.
It's strange. Looking for something when you don't even know what it is.
I felt like I was wasting my time.

I came to the home decor aisle... and... I heard it. very. clearly.
That soul whisper. His voice.

It's here. In this aisle.
And sillyslowlearning me, believing that it was Him. truly. He had spoken.
and yet, I still entertained the next thought, that it was my idea.

So I argued back in my head. no it's not. not this aisle. this is mostly large home decor items.

I remember hesitating, and then walking down that aisle to the other end anyway.
I had even thought...see? nothing. I knew that.
There's nothing here. 
I started browsing through the display of faux succulents, imagining how awesome they would look in my house.
And it was then... that I saw it.

The something. the gift that I had wanted so much to find...
A single, white, silk lily bloom in a little glass vase.

I was stunned. awestruck. my tears were the words that my lips couldn't say.
feeling gratefulness for His voice.
overwhelmed with His compassion. His grace. His l o v e.

for me. for our dear friends. for each of us.

friday loVe ~ HIS

You see, the precious baby girl who is missed so very much is...
Lilly Jane.

He loves y o u.
loves y o u.
y o u.


friday loVe picture ~ inspired by amber

Friday, February 8, 2013

[loVe picture friday, inspired by grace to be]

It's Amber's fun idea, as she posted here last week saying;
"i thought with valentines day coming up it would be fun to post some sort of "loVe picture" every friday for the month~ wanna join?
all you have to do is take a picture each week of something you love then post it on friday!"
But I am actually camera-less right now.
Ben borrowed my little point and shoot for his digital media class and has it at school most of the time.
So I opened some old folders, found a few scanned photos from my 35mm days... and here's one of them. 

This week's loVe picture.

It was December 2004.
And we had just found out that our newest little person was a BOY!
We thought that our fourth baby would also be our last,
so even though we hadn't found out the gender with any of the others,
we decided this time to find out together as a family.

Way special. For all of us. Still. I love looking at this picture. :)

curious, did you or not, find out what you were having?
and was it announced... or a secret?

HaPpy Friday everyone!
and if you haven't already, jump in. i want to see YOUR loVe picture too.

Friday, February 1, 2013

[this moment]


it's a [this moment] as inspired by soulemamathat is actually a that moment.

that moment when you realize that you cannot blink again. ever.

it's all going so fast.

my oldest, at 17, discovered that when on his knees...
he is now just slightly taller than my youngest, at seven, who is standing up straight.

that moment when you realize that you cannot blink again. ever.