Today

I am feeling reflective.

Today is May 17th.

It is Thursday.

I know that May 17th was on a Thursday in 1984.

Twenty eight years ago.

Today.

I can't tell you much about that day until around 6pm.

I know what I was doing. where I was standing. then sitting. 
I can see the color of the carpet, dad's desk. his chair. 

I can see me like I am really there again. feeling it. living it.   
I can see me from a bird's eye view. and can narrate in the third person.




I always knew that I was adopted. meaning, I don't remember not knowing. It was never a secret.
What Mom and Dad emphasized was that I was their daughter. and loved. truly.

I never really blogged about it until last year, here. and only because I never get around to blogging about alot of things. that's why.

My parents adopted babies in the late 1960's. It was a different time. and birth mothers rights were terminated sooner rather than later.
Papers were signed. stamped. and then records sealed. the door on the details closed. and locked. permanently.

So 28 years ago on this day when my birth mother called me out of the clear blue...
we were more than shocked.

It was not something anticipated. at all. ever.

Ever.

I'd like to say that it was such a great thing at that age. how well it all went.
But I can't.

It wasn't quite that way. 

But I can say...

that in it. and through it. there have been great things. really.

Because that Is Who He Is. and that Is What He Does.

I'll admit. I've wept today...
sad tears. happy tears. both. and lots of them.

tears of relief. release. even rest.

tears because of His Presence.
where I know I am His Beloved.
tears from seeing that Grace has a Face....
over and over and over.
and it's His.
It's His.
His Face.
And I've seen it shining through yours. and yours. and yours.

So I have tears of gratefulness too.




You can listen to Jason Gray's "Remind Me Who I am,"
Here.I liked this song alot when I first heard it a few months ago. until I saw this video. and then I fell in love with it. I already shared it on facebook, but when it started playing on the radio this morning, I felt like it fit today.





"Tell me, once again
Who I am to you, Who I am to You
Tell me, lest I forget
Who I am to you, that I belong to You
to You."


I am His beloved.
You are His beloved.
We are His beloved.

and that is something to celebrate.

Today.


and I am.