My New Bathroom and Thinking

 

I was scrubbing my bathtub this morning with a big smile on my face.
Because I was having so much FUN.
FUN scrubbing the tub.
FUN with all capital letters kind of FUN.
(Because it was 8 weeks without one, ya know.)
 I now love to scrub my tub.

The Before and During photos of the bathroom, as well as the makeshift shower in the basement;
 

And finally...


 
Yes! Yes! Yes!
The bathroom is done!!!
It is wonderful. A shower/tub, potty and sinks. ALL in one room. Together!!!
And see those little drawers in the center column?
The top two are Mine. All mine.

I scrubbed the old tub for over 16 years. And whatever protective coating that Tub Factories put on tubs in the factory to keep them nice looking? Well. It had worn off l-o-n-g before I moved here.

( But it was After Jesus died. Recently I was telling the kids about something that happened to ME a long time ago and Jacob queried, "Was that before Jesus died?" )  

So no matter how I cleaned that old tub, it never really looked that nice.
And then today I was reminded that the problem wasn't just an old bathtub.
This new tub looks great. And it is way easier to make and keep clean.
But. We have hard water.

So I was scrubbing and thinking.

I am amazed at how the new floor and counter top stay looking so clean.
Even when they really are not, they look it. Gotta love that!

It's easy for me to get caught in believing that something new will fix it. And fix it quick.
Whatever "it" is at the moment.
(Children. Husband. Myself! ...please don't read anything into the order in which I just listed those...)
New book. New plan. New formula. New something.
And those things can help. Somewhat. For a time.

Arrangements and patterns can hide the dirt.
From counter tops and floors... to people.
Looks good. Clean. Put together. Perhaps churchy. Even applaudable.
But my own efforts and strength, my own try- harder- gritted- teeth- I- will- make- it- thru- one- day- without- loosing- it- with- somebody- determination, just. isn't. adequate. It wears out real fast around here.
It's like a new surface fix...without a water softener.
 After just one or two baths... there's a tub ring... already... and I just can't keep up.   Or...
Even when I can hide the dirt that oozes out or the semi-quiet ugly of my motive, it is still there. 

Maybe it's just me.
But the day in and day out of it all, including myself, isn't quite what I had in mind when I signed up.
It looked different. Oh yeah.
Anyone?I never lost my cool. My kids made me look good. My husband understood me. And bedtime was always warm fuzzies with darling, cooperative children singing praises.

Still thinking.

Thinking about 1 Cor. 3:10-23...about Jesus Christ being the Foundation...
...the wood, hay and straw part and ...
"...his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work."

I have opted many times, for a camouflage neat and tidy. Or a quick surface fix.
The performance. The presentation.

And my motive?! Ouch.

The sickest part is, I don't even always realize it.
Tricky deceitful heart I have here.

I am not, thank you Jesus; One mistake away, from Him leaving me this way! (Casting Crowns)

I was thinking... that the "other side" to that scripture is... get this!
( While His fruit and victory can be loud and obvious and are to be celebrated...Yes!!! )
Sometimes, He is quietly working in my heart and what I have going on doesn't look that great to anyone.
I may be completely misunderstood...But He knows.
He sees my heart and He knows.

He knows.
He knows that I want to know Him. Serve Him. Cooperate with Him.  
He knows that I am an ING girl when it comes to learn.
Even something that I have learnED, I am still learnING.
He knows my heart longing and desire is for Him.
I tell ya. I can't clean up my motive, my heart, my anything, by myself.

Minute to minute I need His Spirit.
Cleansing. Softening. Strengthening. Comforting.
I need His Spirit so that I can be actively obedient. Enabled by Grace.Minute to minute...that's what it is for me.

I just don't have what it takes, without Him. 
Who told me that I was supposed to? !!!
Not Him.
I don't have what it takes.  But He does.
I'm thinking that He wants to do this together. That's what I'm thinking.


The kitchen floor process, during and after:
( which during the last stage, had us squeezing past the table, to get out the front door, outside is what I'm saying, to go around the house, to the basement door, to get to our shower forcryingoutloud...because nobody but crazy down_onthefarm hicks  refinish a kitchen floor and remodel the bathroom at the same time )